Fanfic Bakeoff Prompts: Secret Ingredient Catch
by havocmangawip
Summary: Written for LJ's Fanfic Bakeoff. 1. Catch Up 2. Solitaire 3. Red Handed 4. Confessions of a Bibliophile 5. Novel Sensibility. 100-300 word limit. Characters: Jean Havoc, Sciezka, Elric brothers, Tricia Elric, Riza Hawkeye and Rebecca Catalina.
1. Catch Up

**Title: **"Catch Up"**  
Fandom: **Fullmetal Alchemist manga**  
Author: **havocmangawip

**Words: **142  
**Rating: **K

**Summary: **Havoc thinks about Mustang's orders to him while they were in the hospital.

**Warnings: **Possible spoilers for FMA manga up to and including chapter 89.

_He told me to catch up. He expects me to catch up. How am I supposed to give my all when fifty percent of me won't work?_

I turned that around in my head time and time again. I fretted about it through grueling therapy sessions and what seemed like endless humiliation learning about what I had left, on the train to the East, in the truck with Ma and finally in town, at the store.

The doctors told me to make what still worked strong, to make up for it. Breda did too, the jerk.

So here I am, waiting, working and trying. Planning too...

It's a good thing the bad guys don't know that under the blanket I've got a sawed off on my lap and a double barrel shotgun besides.

They're not expecting it, so I won't get caught.


	2. Solitaire

**Title: **"Solitaire"**  
Fandom: **Fullmetal Alchemist manga**  
Author: **havocmangawip

**Words: **266  
**Rating: **K

**Summary: **Havoc has to do something to pass the time.

**Warnings: **Possible spoilers for FMA manga up to and including chapter 52.

**Notes:** I took inspiration from the Statler Brothers' "Flowers on the Wall"… Havoc has it worse. He gets one cigarette a day and has NO Captain Kangaroo. This would be fail without the beta help of anat-astarte!

_Beer froth overflows from our refilled mugs and sandwiches lay half eaten on the table. It was pay day and poker night, and we all chipped in for high end cigars and a couple of cases of the best brew. Each of us, even Fuery, had a stogie burning, though he looked a bit green around the gills. Breda was in charge of the sandwiches and if the military didn't work out for him I was convinced he had a future in the deli business. Falman's got a great poker face, but no sense of adventure as he usually folds when he could raise. Feury and Broche can't bluff to save their lives. _

"_Havoc, would you quit showing off, cut the damned deck and deal?"_

Nothing like a game of cards to pass the time in a hospital room, unless the game's solitaire. Playing Go Fish with Fuery's better. Could have been in the day room for a snack, plenty of guys in wheelchairs there, but I'm the only one taking mine home. Green gelatin, powdered fruit punch… hmm, tapioca pudding, not stellar, but better.

I shuffle the cards. One slips away and, dammit! I'm not fast enough to catch it!

The card lands face down on the floor, and remains a mystery. Playing solitaire with 51 is futile, so I sort them out by suit, trying to figure out which card escaped. It takes time, but I slowly place them one by one. Finally, I'm finished.

The Queen of Hearts… oh the irony. I resist throwing down the rest. Fifty-two Pickup is even less practical.


	3. Red Handed

**Title: **"Red Handed"  
**Fandom: **Fullmetal Alchemist  
**Author:** havocmangawip  
**Words:** 167

**Rating:** G  
**Summary:** Edward and Alphonse in their alchemical and precocious youth.

**Warnings:** Fluff and a complete lack of angst.

_Thanks to gretchen8642 for looking this over and lending moral support!_

"I _told_ you it would break brother! We should have asked mom before we took the cookies. Now the jar is broken. We're going to get into trouble."

"We can fix it with alchemy. Mom will never know. Hey Al, where are you going? Don't be such a baby."

***

"Boys, please come into the kitchen."

"Don't shove me Ed! Yes Mom?"

"I wasn't shoving you Al, you were in the way!"

"Both of you hush. Would either of you like to tell me something?"

"Ed, I told you that even though we had them same number of cookies in the jar she'd be able to tell because they were smaller! I knew we'd get caught."

"Edward, is that true?"

"Yes. Al wanted to ask, but you were at the market."

"You're both going to bed as soon as we finish supper. For the record, it wasn't the size of the cookies that tipped me off. The jar had a crack in it and now it doesn't."


	4. Confessions of a Bibliophile

**Title: **"Confessions of a Bibliophile"  
**Fandom: **Fullmetal Alchemist  
**Author:** havocmangawip  
**Words:** 272

**Rating:** G  
**Summary:** Sciezka loves her job far too much for her own good.

**Warnings:** The downward spiral into chronic literary addiction.

Many thanks to seaweed-fma for beta help!

It was a surprise when I found out that besides brilliance in alchemical research that State Alchemists are also talented writers. In addition to treatises on elements and various methods for transmutation I found cook books, travelogues, detailed personal journals, discourses on philosophy, history, love letters and novels. Why these literary treasures weren't shared with the public was troublesome to me. How can a recipe be a state secret?

The wealth of knowledge was all too tempting. The First Branch of the Central Library is a book lovers' paradise, even for the non-alchemist.

At first I resisted and saved reading for my breaks. The collection proved irresistible. I admit I am powerless over my addiction to the written word. Soon I began hiding my habit by starting the duty of re-shelving books in the dustiest, oldest and unused portions of the reference section. I'd push the cart and read, trying to complete my responsibilities as quickly as I could while still devouring texts. When I ran out of poetry and prose I started on case files for the Investigations Department. I wasn't supposed to. I couldn't help myself. Truth is stranger than fiction most of the time. If I dug deep enough I was sure I'd find evidence of visitors from other planets.

It wasn't long before my performance evaluations suffered and the jig was up. I knew my dream job was too good to last.

After all, there's always a catch. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Librarians should love the written word. Being around all those books and banned from reading them? Well, that proved impossible.


	5. Novel Sensibility

**Title: **"Novel Sensibility"  
**Fandom: **Fullmetal Alchemist manga/Brotherhood  
**Author:** havocmangawip  
**Words:** 285

**Rating:** PG (implied character flaws)  
**Summary:** To keep communications under wraps, there has to be some filler correspondence.

**Warnings:** Implied spoilers for chapter 89 of the manga. The author has been hitting Austen and the Brontë sisters a little bit too hard.

_February 1, 1915_

_My bosom friend,_

_Your continued interest in C.A. Becker, Esq. troubles me. While he is a man of considerable assets and talents I fear that he is more interested in courting a lady of means who can provide a sizeable dowry. His desires and intentions are not fit for a woman with a fine constitution and delicate sensibilities such as yourself. I fear he would scandalize your reputation and character. Nevertheless, if it is still your desire I will dispatch a letter to him forthwith on your behalf._

_I would hate to have a sweet young girl such as you taken in by a man as old and experienced as he is._

_Fondly,_

_Elisabeth_

Since when was the lieutenant in the habit of writing like a heroine from an Empire Period novel? Jacqueline gets more mail than I do! I think I should be offended.

Hawkeye will catch hell from Rebecca if she ever sees this letter. She's inferred that though her friend has a great rack, she's after a guy with cash and looks. I didn't say I wanted to date her. I implied a lot of other things, but not that. Did Hawkeye just call her friend a slut? No, not just a slut but an old slut!

Wait, what's so wrong with her putting out? That's a good thing. The knockdown, drag out fight they'd have if this ever catches light would be hot.

I'll have to mull this over before penning a reply. For now a cigarette on the back porch before Ma catches me. Smoking is definitely not befitting the behavior of a well-bred lady. I'll reply after supper. I wonder if the store stocks frilly stationary…


End file.
